Memorial Day

Hello all, Well, I’m back… yep after a brief hiatus I decided to fuck with the world again. Too bad for some of you, thanks for the encouragement from others. Ran into a friend at Menards today and of course the first person they asked about was the kid, so after telling the story and them being dumbfounded I said “not sure”. They offered a shoulder to lean/cry/vent or whatever, she wanted to reach out to the kid but I declined as that may be some sort of bullshit that my fucked up wife would use against me. She said they might have a “Pride Parade” in Holmesville so if the kid wanted to come out and say “hi” she could, much love….

Got introduced to “dabs” this weekend, my buddy bought me a self contained dab rig LOL. I’m not one for “gear” I hate all the shit that has to be carried around to do things but this is easy, put it in, hit the button & puff away, exactly like a vape pen but DAMN. It’s like smoking a joint in two hits (ask Katie, she took a HUGE dab hit at the Cannabis Cup in Michigan two summers ago, I had to reach out and steady her as I thought she was going to hit the ground after one hit & she was a two gram a day weed smoker so she’s no rookie) they sell this stuff at the dispensary it’s crazy… if I didn’t see all the Trump signs I would think I was somewhere other than Ohio. Needless to say big fun this weekend, made some new friends, smoking hot girl at the bar wanted to be “bad”, however, she lives in CARROLLTON, seriously… WTF? I told her that no worries, anytime she’s up this way all good but I don’t cross the Carroll county line and never will again. Her friends said they would all come back up next weekend so I guess we’ll see, WTF is with this Carrollton shit? I grew up sort of there, at Atwood Lake, till I was about mid 20’s grandparents sold the house, too much work and not enough grandkids around to help.

Was going to work in the garden, did get 20 tomato plants planted, gave away almost 100 this year, people were so happy. I have my peppers, cukes, edamame & squash to go in. No big rush & I’m not sure how much I’m going to do this year anyway as I’m getting my first of three knee surgeries in a few weeks. [need THREE, getting the bolts taken out, then rod & screws (in my ankle) and then the knee replacement after all the bone holes fill in, I’ll take pictures of the hardware that I’m keeping] So I don’t think I’m really going to risk getting an infection or twisting it so the garden may just be a mess this year. The asparagus went wild, I couldn’t keep up with it so it went to seed early but I guess next year I’ll have even more that I can’t eat alone. Not much else, pretty relaxed weekend, wish there would have been one more person here to enjoy it with I just hope she’s doing well & as my friend at Menards said “she knows how much you love her & I’m sure she will reach out…” like I told her, “my birthday was horrible without her, no card or silly jokes, this Father’s Day is going to be brutal for me, first one in 10 years without her, but every single day we’re closer to her 18th birthday… and I have my fingers crossed that if it hasn’t happened by then…” she said “oh I’m sure it will, I saw how much she loves you”

That’s all, mostly the view from the front porch today, not much else, cleaned around the house, did some dumb shit, did a few dabs (very few if I wanted to be functional) (again, ask Katie the weed smoker, I wonder how’s she’s doing without her constant need for weed, if she was not at FFCB she had a joint in her hand from morning until night… no shit) I’m guessing just more Rx medications, maybe she’s up to 6-8 by now… so many for a 36 year old, not my problem anymore, that’s the Campbell family issues now. Just sitting here getting ready to get Romeo & me a little dinner (we eat late & on the counter now, just like the “old days”) I think every day how things could have been different, how it didn’t have to get ugly & still wondering why it did, why did Miss “Shitty & Shady” have to try to fuck me over? Now she’s just going to get fucked in the end & not in a good way. If she would have listened to me, this would have been almost over by now, but NOOOOOO she & her life coach are going a different route. At least she has a decent attorney that has common sense & not that fucked up Carrollton attorney. Before I hired Susan, I had my other attorney contact Katie’s attorney in Carrollton to ask if there was anything I could do to repair this? counseling or anything? Falkner said “no”, then he ask about going through what we are about to do next (that could have been done 4 months ago & she said “I don’t see as it’s to my client’s advantage” so now suddenly it is… with a smarter attorney.

The moral of the story, we were a family, the good, the bad & everything in between. We all loved each other and before others became involved in our lives there was nothing we would not have done for each other. When Katie took the kid to her father’s house in Holmesville, when Katie came home she told me how much the kid cried and asked “when she could come back home” (our house) Katie didn’t inform her that she had other plans all along and getting her out there was just the first step in the plan. I told Katie I didn’t want her to leave, I never did, here we are just a few months after and now things are getting back to “normal” think about that…think about if you would not have pushed her away from me to hurt me. Fucking me over that is the second step… but that’s not working out as well as expected. As I have said many times before, I wanted none of this, not one single bit, even if it had to end, it didn’t have to end this way… I didn’t know she was so ugly inside.

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